战场墨菲法则【二】转！
书名：军事承包商 作者：小兵哥
战场墨菲法则【二】转！
70
henever
you
have
plenty
of
ao，
you
never
iss
henever
you
are
lo
on
ao，
you
can't
hit
the
broad
side
of
a
barn
你有足够弹药的时候，你百发百中。你缺弹药的时候，连谷仓那么大的东西都打不中。
71
the
ore
a
eapon
sts，
the
farther
you
ill
have
to
send
it
aay
to
be
repaired
武器越贵（或是越有用处？），修理的时候就要送的越远。
72
the
plexity
of
a
eapon
is
versely
proportional
to
the
iq
of
the
eapon's
operator
武器的复杂程度和操作者的智商成反比。
73
field
experience
is
sothg
you
don't
get
until
jt
after
you
need
it
“战场经验”这东西，只有在某次很需要它的行动之后你才能获得。
74
no
atter
hich
ay
you
have
to
arch，
its
alays
uphill
不管你从哪条路线行军，都是上坡路。
75
if
enough
data
is
llected，
a
board
of
quiry
can
prove
anythg
如果收集到了足够的资料，调查委员会什么事都可以证明。（委员会胡说八道）
76
for
every
action，
there
is
an
equal
and
opposite
criticis(
boot
cap)
在新兵训练营，对每一个行动都有赞成与反对两种评判。
77
air
strikes
alays
overshoot
the
target，
artillery
alays
falls
short
空袭总是打得过远，炮火总是打得太近。
78
hen
revieg
the
radio
frequencies
that
you
jt
rote
don，
the
ost
iportant
ones
are
alays
illegible
当你查看你写下的无线电频率的时候，最重要的总是无法辨认。
79
those
ho
hesitate
under
fire
ually
do
not
end
up
kia
or
ia
弹雨之中逞英雄的人往往死得最快。
80
the
tough
part
about
beg
an
officer
is
that
the
troops
don't
kno
hat
they
ant，
but
they
kno
for
certa
hat
they
don't
ant
作为军官最辛苦的一点是：士兵不知道他们想要什么，只知道他们不想要什么。
81
to
steal
ration
fro
a
person
is
called
pgiaris
to
steal
ration
fro
the
eney
is
called
gatherg
telligence
从一个人那里偷取信息叫剽窃，从敌人那里偷取信息叫搜集情报。
82
the
eapon
that
ually
jas
hen
you
need
it
the
ost
is
the
60
在你最需要它的时候总是卡壳的武器是60机枪。
83
the
perfect
officer
for
the
job
ill
transfer
the
day
after
that
billet
is
filled
by
soone
else
最适合某个工作的军官总是在这个职位已经被别人占据后一天调来。
85
the
neest
and
least
experienced
soldier
ill
ually
the
dal
of
honor
最新最没经验的士兵最可能获得荣誉奖章。（意思是“挂掉的人就会获得美国最高级勋章”）
86
a
purple
heart
jt
proves
that
ere
you
sart
enough
to
thk
of
a
pn，
stupid
enough
to
try
it，
and
cky
enough
to
survive
紫心勋章（美国授予受伤士兵的勋章）证明你聪明到可以想出一个计划，愚蠢到尝试这个计划，并且幸运到活了下来。
87
urphy
as
a
grunt
墨菲是个大头兵。（就是因为墨菲老是做错事，所以才叫墨菲法则嘛:-p）
88
beer
ath
--≈ap;ap;ap;ap;gt;
2
beers
tis
37
n
equals
49
cases
啤酒数计算法：三十七人，每人两瓶，共要四十九箱。
89
body
unt
ath
--≈ap;ap;ap;ap;gt;
3
guerrils
ps
1
pr
obable
ps
2
pigs
equals
37
eneies
killed
action
歼敌数计算法：三名游击队员加一个可能再加两只猪，本次战斗共毙敌三十七人。
90
the
burstg
radi
of
a
hand
grenade
is
alays
one
foot
greater
than
your
jupg
range
手榴弹的杀伤半径总是比你能扑出的距离多一英尺。
91
all-eather
close
air
support
doesn't
ork
bad
eather
全天候近距空中支援在坏天气里不管用。
92
the
bat
orth
of
a
unit
is
versely
proportional
to
the
sartness
of
its
outfit
and
appearance
一支部队的作战能力与它外表的好看程度成反比。
93
the
crucial
round
is
a
dud
至关重要的炮弹总是哑弹。
95
there
is
no
such
pce
as
a
nvenient
foxhole
需要散兵坑时，它们总是太远。（注：nvenient在这里是指地理上的便利，就好像所谓的便利店一样，所以不能解作“舒适”）
97
if
your
positions
are
firly
set
and
you
are
prepared
to
take
the
eney
assault
on，
he
ill
bypass
you
如果你的阵地有很好的工事而且你也准备好应付敌人的攻击，敌人会绕过你。
98
if
your
abh
is
properly
set，
the
eney
on't
alk
to
it
如果你准备好了一次伏击，敌人不会进入你的伏击圈。
99
if
your
fnk
arch
is
gog
ell，
the
eney
expects
you
to
outfnk
hi
如果你的侧翼迂回进行的很顺利，是因为敌人正期待着你从侧翼接近他们。
100
density
of
fire
creases
proportionally
to
the
curioness
of
the
target
你越是感到好奇的目标就越危险。
101
odd
objects
attract
fire
-
never
rk
behd
one
奇怪的物体吸引炮火－不要躲在这种东西后面。
103
the
self-iportance
of
a
superior
is
versely
proportional
to
his
position
the
hierarchy
(as
is
his
devioness
and
ischievoness)
长官的自大程度与他的官职成反比（还有他的不值得信任程度和有害程度）。
104
there
is
alays
a
ay，
and
it
ually
doesn't
ork
任何事情都有一个解决方法，尽管通常是不管用的。
105
suess
ours
hen
no
one
is
lookg，
faire
ours
hen
the
general
is
atchg
没人关注的行动通常是成功的；被高级长官关注的行动通常是失败的。
106
the
eney
never
onitors
your
radio
frequency
until
you
broadcast
on
an
unsecured
channel
在你使用不安全的频道发布之前，敌人都不会监听你的无线电频率。
107
henever
you
drop
your
equipnt
a
fire-fight，
your
ao
and
grenades
alays
fall
the
farthest
aay，
and
your
canteen
alays
nds
at
your
feet
如果你战斗中掉了装备，你的子弹和手榴弹一定离你最远，而水壶总是掉在你的脚边。
108
as
soon
as
you
are
served
hot
cho
the
field，
it
ras
战场上，你只要搞到热东西吃，就总是要下雨的。
109
never
tell
the
ptoon
sergeant
you
have
nothg
to
do
不要告诉副排长你无事可做。
111
alkg
pot
=
sniper
bait
去带路＝去当狙击手的诱饵。
112
your
bivouac
for
the
night
is
the
spot
here
you
got
tired
of
archg
that
day
你夜间的宿营地是你白天行军累了的地方。
113
if
only
one
sotion
can
be
found
for
a
field
proble，
t
hen
it
is
ually
a
stupid
sotion
如果一个战场上的问题只有一种解决方案，这一定是个愚蠢的方案。
115
hat
gets
you
prooted
fro
one
rank
gets
you
killed
the
next
rank
在低军衔能让你升官的行为会在新军衔杀死你。
116
if
orders
can
be
isunderstood
they
ill
be
如果命令可能被误解，那它一定会被误解。
117
odd
objects
attract
fire
you
are
odd
奇怪的东西吸引炮火。你就是奇怪的。
118
your
ortar
barrage
ill
put
exactly
one
round
on
the
tended
target
that
round
ill
be
a
dud
迫击炮弹幕只有一发能命中目标，这一发是哑弹。
119
e
fields
are
not
neutral
雷场不是中立的。
120
the
eight
of
your
equipnt
is
proportional
to
the
ti
you
have
been
carryg
it
装备的重量与你需要扛着它的时间成正比。
122
if
you
need
an
officer
a
hurry
take
a
nap
军官总是在你犯错误时出现。
123
the
effective
killg
radi
is
greater
than
the
average
soldier
can
thro
it
投掷武器的杀伤半径总比一般士兵能扔的距离大。
128
hen
you
have
sufficient
ao
the
eney
takes
2
eeks
to
attack
hen
you
are
lo
on
ao
the
eney
attacks
that
night
你弹药充足的时候，敌人两个礼拜也不进攻；你缺弹药的时候，敌人马上就进攻。
129
the
quarteraster
has
only
o
sizes，
too
rge
and
too
sall
军需官那里的东西只有两个尺码：太大的和太小的。
130
the
only
ti
suppressive
fire
orks
is
hen
it
is
ed
on
abandoned
positions
压制火力唯一管用的时候是用来对付废弃的阵地的时候。
131
hen
a
front
le
soldier
overhears
o
general
staff
officers
nferrg，
he
has
fallen
back
too
far
如果一个前线士兵无意中听到两个参谋在讨论，那他一定是呆得太后了。（参谋人员都是胆小鬼）
132
don't
ever
be
the
first，
don't
ever
be
the
st，
and
don't
ever
vonteer
to
do
anythg
不要做第一个，也不要做倒数第一个，更不要志愿干什么事。
133
if
at
first
you
don't
sueed，
then
bob
disposal
probably
isn't
for
you
如果你第一次尝试不成功的话，你也许不适合去拆炸弹。
134
any
ship
can
be
a
eseeperonce
所有船只都可以当扫雷艇……一次性的。
135
henever
you
lose
ntact
ith
the
eney，
look
behd
you
如果你失去了敌人的踪迹，转头看看。
136
if
you
fd
yourself
front
of
your
ptoon
they
kno
sothg
you
don't
在战场上，如果你的位置过于靠前，那么你一定要注意是否忽视了某些潜在的危险。（言下之意：二愣子才冲在最前面）
137
the
serioness
of
a
ound
(
a
firefight)
is
versely
proportional
to
the
distance
to
any
for
of
ver
交火后，受伤的严重程度与到掩体的距离成反比。
138
the
ore
stupid
the
leader
is，
the
ore
iportant
issions
he
is
ordered
to
carry
out
指挥官越蠢，他被命令执行的任务越重要。
139
hen
the
p
is
pulled，
r
grenade
is
not
your
friend
拔下保险销后，手榴弹先生就不再是你的朋友了。
140
all
or
any
of
the
above
bed
以上法则的任意组合。89